Marriage is...

This post I'm about to write is a selfish post. Selfish because I need it. Because I need the words on my page to remind me of why I am so blessed to be in a relationship called marriage with another human being, and a man who loves God for that matter. I need my eyes to see what my heart feels, and my head to understand what I already know. Because I see so many posts from women who seem to have it all together. Who float on air and produce harmony from their footsteps. I'm the flag-holder of the one who doesn't have it all together in marriage, but is okay with the learning process. Because we're in this for the long haul. :) Married people... let me know if I have this list right or not!

Being married is...

  • Trusting that your partner really does have your best interests in mind, as difficult as that might be to comprehend. They are from Mars, or so Dr. Gray tells us. 
  • Not always giving advice on every corner. Sometimes we need to just listen. Not listening to refute our point and bring up new counterpoints, but just simply listening. And affirming. 
  • Doing what you know they want, even though you don't totally understand why that weird thing is so important to them. But it is, and so we compromise. Even when it doesn't always make sense. 
  • Being patient. Expectations and realities are two very different but very common occurrences in marriage. Patience means that when we're {surprisingly? obviously?} not meeting eachother's, we're okay with who we are because we love eachother. It's a process. 
  • Actually going to bed upset sometimes {gasp! that's not what my grandma told me!!!} Because here's the deal. For those of us who have "never gone to bed angry," that can mean staying up until 4am trying to resolve the situation. Please tell me I'm not the only one who has actually felt better in the morning after having gone to bed upset, only to realize that my "upset thing" was actually pretty insignificant in the long run. Things tend to seem much more dramatic at 3 o'clock in the morning... :)
  • Daily, daily, daily acting out love in a way that is an action and not just a word. You can throw "I love ice cream, the Ducks, my grandma and you," into the same sentence and they'll have completely different meanings. I'm talking about acting out the kind of love that I feel for my husband on a daily basis. Respect. Deference. Commitment. Peace. Harmony. Even.... when I don't really feel like it or want to.   

  • Just doing stuff to bless your spouse, because you want to see them happy. And I mean at the 100% level. Not the 33% or the 64% or the 12% because you've had a bad day level, but the 100% of the time, every-time level. Even when I might not get the same in return, or vice versa. That is sooooo hard to do when my self gets in the way! 
  • HARD WORK. Period. 
  • But totally worth it in a million and more than one ways. Period.

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