My heart is hurting a little bit right now. 

Education is not something I entered into because I was bored or because I needed the money. Education is something that I feel called to be a part of; that is a unique profession where you pour your soul into something, regardless of what you get in return. Teaching is a choice and a calling... and is far from being called a "job." 

So much of classroom life is challenging. Some days are hilarious because your student tells you about their sneeze fart the night before, and some days are frustrating because students aren't living up to their full potential. Some days are energizing because life lessons have been learned and students are engaged; some days are exhausting because the student who refuses to speak to you in anything but back-talk seems endless.

For anyone who has held a garbage can in front of a barfing student while trying to teach about Sumerian cuneiform, having just broken up a fist fight in the hallways the period before: you understand what classroom life is like.

But the thing is, I wouldn't choose to be any place *but* the heart of my school. I'm the kind of teacher that holds my students accountable for their potential and value, but laughs when things get too serious or has Bieber dance parties when we need a brain break. I love what I do and my classroom life: The messiness, the frustration, the exhaustion, the germs, the laughter, and everything in-between. 

More importantly, however, is that survival of this kind of life is dependent upon a trustworthy and supportive administration, and colleagues who are in it with you. Teachers are a unique breed, and we need each other. I absolutely LOVE my students, colleagues, my school, my community and my administration..

and today was the day that I had to say good-bye to them.

I have poured my heart and my soul into my job this year, and budget reductions have displaced me to a new location for a job that is 1/2 of what I make right now. My financial livelihood is in jeopardy, and I am emotional for the fact that I have to say good-bye to people that I dearly love and cherish as both friends and teammates. The transparent side of me says that this change is not easy or even bittersweet. It's just sad.

However, I do know that everything happens for a reason. That God knows what is going on, and that my faith is being tested. I'm disappointed, and trying (more like searching) to find the positive in the situation because it's difficult to see right now. My heart is sad and I wish more than anything that I could stay in a position at my school for next year. 

But, as of right now, there are more relationships to form on my horizon. More school policies to discover, and new PLCs to attend. More students to meet, more families to connect with, and more opportunities to make a difference. More body odor and deoderant talks to have, more fights to break up and more manners lessons to be taught. It's all a day in the life, and a day in the life of the new path God is taking me on... even though I may not understand it right now.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Blogging tips