What real love looks like.

This blog has been stirring on my heart for quite some time as lately I have been taking a step back and examining my marriage and my husband. Because I am so. happy. 

Happiness is not an intent in marriage but a fruit and a gift; a joy unparalleled by anything the world can offer in and of itself. I have been happy about 5 million times in my life by various experiences, but the happiness and joy I experience when I come home from work and am enveloped for brief moments in my husband's arms is unlike anything I've ever experienced. 

The kind of peace and joy I feel when we're sitting together on the couch, hands intertwined, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. The kind of intimacy we share when we talk in the car on a drive alone together, just the two of us. This is pure joy in my life at its finest. 

This is what I dreamt about in marriage. This unadulterated type of trust and companionship that tells me that I am my beloved's and he is mine. Timothy and I have been married nearly four years and we have finally reached this point after three bumpy and humbling years together. 

Because see, we were unfair to one another in our early years. Our expectations for what marriage should look like, for what my husband and his wife should look like took precedence over being refined and shaped into who God wanted us to be in our marriage to ultimately glorify him. We had to navigate through disappointments, frustrations, pride and anger in our first years to realize the truth: Who we are together glorifies our Father God Most High. 

Timothy and I both had our ideas on who we though each other should be when we first got married and this led to a lot of heartache for many months on end. There is nothing more painful than feeling like a disappointment to your spouse, and there is nothing more detrimental than digging your heels in and putting yourself first. 

What I have learned that real love looks like is being married to a spouse who is willing to become better for you. Who is willing to put you first, who hears you and responds accordingly, who knows you and seeks to continue knowing you, who chooses you and who loves you in spite of your self. What real love looks like is commitment. Real love looks like wanting to give of yourself until you are dry and have nothing else to give; desiring to bless even when you feel empty and wanting to sacrifice your needs because you love deeply. 

Real love looks like a spouse who never gives up

Who never abandons you when you need them most, even when you might push them so far away you wonder if they'll ever return. 

Real love is someone who doesn't decide they "don't love you anymore," or "they met someone else," or "things just aren't working out."

Real love looks like a spouse who fights for you; for your marriage; for your family. 

The reason I delight so much in who we are now, after four years of marriage, is that I know that I am married to someone who will never give up on us and who will know me through all of my days. In our early days I didn't know what our marriage would be like and often doubted whether or not I had married the "right person" for me. 

My friends, never let yourself get caught in that lie. 

Delight in who God has chosen for you, and when you surrender your everything to him; your heart, your marriage, your desires, your hopes and fears, He will be faithful to you. 

We are living our real love every day together-- in big and small moments-- and I don't need an anniversary reflection or a holiday to remind me that I am the luckiest girl on the planet for having the husband that I do. My perfect mate who my love grows infinitely for every single day through forever. 


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